Outside or inside?

It was early eighties when I discovered performance art. But before that I painted landscapes and tried to describe human beings. At the same time I felt it boring and useless and exiting. I worked for hours, days, months and years to learn how to make a picture with my own heart, brain, eyes and hands. Lines, forms, rhythms and colors, everything seemed to change all the time, the picture flew from my fingertips. Nature, as human face too, is an endless exploration to go. Still I could not  think to be "just" an artist making landscapes and portraits.

Finally, after years, I found my secret path towards my inner nature to get contacted with the world around me. Indulging to the process of my art guided me to the area where inner and outer can be separated but also blended as one. 

I´m not sure if there is some sense in these words. It´s the question of existence. As a human being you may face this strange feeling of almost understanding. In a fleeting moment you can see who you really are, where are you from and what´s the meaning of...everything!

And then you are back in this everyday life where the things are arranged, named and numbered by the power of zeitgeist. Hurry up! You´ll miss the train! I felt often to be in a wrong place at wrong time, but I learned to calm my mind by taking a step backwards. By being old-fashioned. Let the train go. I´ll stay here in the head of a wooden god. Here we are, me and my monster, looking at the moon. And the moon is looking at the landscape of the wooden god! And I am allowed to be a part of this...everything!